Veni, Vidi, Vici

In Veni, Vidi, Vici continues Halleljuah Express from volume 3. Our boys have reached Rome. To get Dorian going Klaus has to fetch him from the Roman baths - and gets invited in ... "Here. Take off that tie. And your shirt, too. Oh! An undershirt, even." "Who wants a naked man touching him?! It's revolting!" Dorian likes what he sees, though: "Your hair has the luster of a raven's wet wings. You are ravishing when you are wet, if I may say so. I simply adore the way you drip." To get into the Vatican they go through the catacombs ("Earl, don't molest the major in the dark!") - unfortunately the first map leads them wrong and Klaus has to touch an almost naked woman - ew. Both he and Dorian are mistaken for rapists and Klaus, in a rare show of his somewhat physical sense of humour, pushes Dorian into the Tiber. Finally (and with a little help from Sister Eroica) in the Vatican Dorian is successful, both regarding the object requested by NATO and his own little coup. "I want the greatest treasure in the Vatican. The most glorious treasure on earth."

So, the heist goes well and Klaus is overall rather pleased. Until Dorian shows him, "The greatest haul of this century." Sadly Klaus isn't quite as impressed as Dorian might have hoped ... "Y-y-you stole the Pope?! You ... you ... you ... raving lunatic!" They manage to give back the Pope, but in the aftermath Dorian is arrested ... and pressed to tell who his accomplish was. However, Dorian is faithful and Klaus finally get the answer to, "Why are you always hanging around me?" The entire fandom sighs happily at the reply, "It is because I love you." However, even better is Klaus's comment on this. Oh, he does knock Dorian almost unconscious, but still - he does say, "Good answer."

Not to worry, though, Dorian has friends in Italy and gets away - though not without a rather thrilling car chase and a rescue by Klaus. Who later gets rid of Dorian by pushing him out a plane (well, he did give him a parachute, so that's okay) and only afterwards does he realise that Dorian stole something ... very close to him ... "That bloody wanker! That was my favorite ox-hide belt!" The way we figure things: Klaus can't very well forbid Dorian from touching him below the belt if he isn't wearing one ...

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