The Curse of the Eberbachs

Snape woke up from Hagrid trying to be silent. A while ago, they had agreed that when the Potions Master spent the night at Hagrid's hut, Hagrid would get up in the morning and feed the animals, clean the stables and what else he used to do in the morning with the usual amount of noise it would take. They furthermore had found out that Hagrid trying to be silent was much noisier than Hagrid going about his business as usual.

Besides, Hagrid trying to be silent made Snape nervous. The last time Hagrid had tried to be silent, he had also tried to snatch away the Ariforcian Brainsucker, with which Snape had found himself eye to antennae. Ariforcian Brainsuckers were tick-like creatures the size of saucers. Pulverised, their exoskeletons were used as an ingredient for the Reminisce Potion; alive, these creatures were rather unpleasant. The species did not bear its name for nothing.

Silently creeping up to the bed, Hagrid had tried to save the creature from his lover before it would regret trying to follow its instincts ... "Poky" had learned very fast, that Severus Snape did not take well to attempts at having his brain sucked out in the morning ... It had been a lesson for life ... Unfortunately, the creature had not been of use any longer when Snape had finished it with a curse. Not even as a potion ingredient ...

Snape had also found he could really do without Hagrid's distress at seeing one of his creepy-crawly friends running down the farthest wall of the hut as an unappetising grey mass ...

So with a bad sense of foreboding, he now opened one eye to find Hagrid hunched over the kitchen table. Snape opened the other eye and looked around. If a dangerous creature was on the loose, it probably was on the table, occupying Hagrid's attention so much, that he did not notice that his lover sat up, summoned his shoes and his robe, put on both and noiselessly glided over to the table.

"Pray tell me what is this about, Rubeus?" Snape addressed his lover, who was still hunched over the table.

Hagrid flinched, at the last minute catching a glass ball which was threatening to roll off the table.

"Ah, Sev'rus, yeh gave me a righ' start, yeh did," he said, beaming. "So yeh're up already?"

"Obviously," Snape said icily. "What are you trying to do?" His voice would have made seventh year Gryffindors shake in their shoes.

Snape looked up into his lover's bearded face. Hagrid - an embarrassed smile on his face - his cheeks beet red, looked every inch like an oversized first year caught out of line.

"Trying to spy on Muggles! With Sybil Trelawney's glass ball!" Snape's look would have frightened a werewolf.

At approximately the same time, Bonham and James met at the door which lead to the Earl's suite.

Bonham was not happy to see James. Silently he cursed Rudy, who did not seem to be able to hold James at bay, much less to distract him ... The boy would have to learn a lot if he wanted to keep the accountant ...

"Listen," he whispered, "'S no good if we both go trampling around 'is Lordship's private rooms and wake 'em up. I'll go in. You'll stay outside."

James looked at him as if to protest, but Bonham raised a warning hand, a sign that this point was not negotiable.

"Major will want his walk anyway," the Cockney added gruffly after a moment, as this was most likely what he would see: "Major" waiting for his last walk ... Alright, so James would see him come out with "Major" ... He would have preferred no witnesses. Bonham was no cold-blooded killer, and he disliked what he had promised to do, disliked it immensely. In the cold light of the dawning day, Bonham was an untrained wizard who lived in the Muggle world, where it was skeleton keys and nimble fingers instead of Alohomora which would open closed doors, or a gun that killed instead of a wand ... Right now, he would have preferred to be the best curse breaker of the Wizarding World.

He had fallen asleep and Hell knew for how long! What if Bonham had been there already to take him out, and had not dared to come into the bedroom for fear of waking the Earl and provoking an unpleasant scene? Damn! This whole thing was one fucking mess from the beginning to the end ...

The Major blinked. He did not see much, because his eyes were covered by long dark strands of – hair? Between the strands he could see the white bedsheet and something which looked like – fingers. Long, strong, slightly tanned fingers with short nails. Not Dorian's fingers ... His brain gave the command "move", and the fingers wiggled a bit. "Lift" from his brain, and the hand lifted up from the sheet and came closer for inspection, which must mean it was his hand with his fingers, which now pushed back his hair from his face. He sat up and looked down: A muscular chest with some scars; long, muscular arms; long legs; strong feet; everything decidedly human.

And he found he was naked, lying naked in bed next to ... Dorian: a mass of golden curls, beautifully shaped, muscular shoulders, a torso a Greek God would not have been ashamed of. More features of Dorian were hidden beneath the blanket.

His movements made the Earl stir and cuddle closer ... to find that something had become definitely different with his bed overnight ... Deep blue eyes opened, surprised at first, then sparkling with joy.

Dorian threw himself over the Major, hugged him, covered every inch he could reach with kisses: the face, the neck, the chest, the hands – and the Major did not push him away, but held him in his arms, kissing Dorian's mouth firmly.

"I love you, Dorian," he repeated. It did not matter at all that he was lying naked in bed next to the Earl of Gloria ...

"I did nothing. The Muggle soldier did it himself," he corrected his lover. "He and the Squib."

Snape saw a certain wild glitter in Hagrid's eyes, and he knew he had to act quickly ...

"Not now!" he ordered sternly. "I'll have to teach soon. And before, I must take a little excursion to Malfoy Manor to bring Mr Stubbins back to his corner full of cobwebs, and afterwards back to Hogwarts to return the glass ball to its rightful owner. So put me down!"

Approximately an hour and a half later, the Potions Master entered the classroom in the dungeons in the usual hurry, which always indicated that he had a lot more important things to do than planting a basic knowledge of potion making into the brains of third year dunderhead students. As usual, he began the lesson before the door had even closed behind him. Only a young and very promising witch in his class saw the red mark at the edge of his chin and accurately defined it as a hickey.

Almost noiselessly, Bonham let himself into the living room. No "Major". He cursed inwardly. This complicated the whole unpleasant procedure a lot ...

James stood in the corridor, staring at the door Bonham had left open a crack as if trying to hypnotise it. He could not see the Cockney. Bonham had moved up to the door which lead to the Earl's bedroom ...

When Bonham came into view again, walking rather hurriedly, James backed away to give him room to exit. Then he watched as Bonham closed the door and leaned against it with his eyes closed.

Bonham began to grin. Widely. James thought he looked a bit like the Cheshire Cat from "Alice in Wonderland".

"'S not as if bein' a dog for a while 'd 'ave cooled Uncle NATO's temper, " he said.

Never had the Major celebrated his birthday in such a way, but neither he nor Dorian had any complaints.

Sometimes nightmares can change into pleasant dreams. And sometimes pleasant dreams can even come true, the Major thought, before he gently bit Dorian's neck.