The Curse of the Eberbachs

A quick knock on the door woke him. Then he heard Bonham's voice, "M'lord? They're coming."

"It's a classic manoeuvre," Klaus answered from close by. "Attack the enemy before he has had time to collect himself in the morning. Besides, it's not really very early at all."

Ooooh, what nice voice he has. And so close. It could be him – really him – in bed with me right now. Ooooh …

"Let them do whatever they want. Is darling Z with them?" The faint grumble from Klaus made him smile.

"Good. Make sure they come up here before they leave. And bring breakfast. With extra coffee."

He heard the door close and buried his face in the pillows for one more, luxurious moment. Then he sighed and rolled up on his knees. The dog beside him grumbled some more. "Did you sleep well, my love?"

"Have you been up long?" He got out of bed and went over to his walk-in wardrobe. Now, do I have something that I can get into quickly and still look gorgeous in? Well, I look astonishingly good in everything in here, so it's just the matter of finding something to put on quickly, I suppose.

Dorian found a green sweater in just the right hue and a pair of shiny white trousers of the softest leather. He would normally shower in the morning, but he could do that later and put on something else afterwards. "Oh heavens!"

"No, dear, I'm sorry. Let me just get a hairbrush and we can sit by the fire as I brush my hair."

They settled on the sofa, Klaus with his paws and head in Dorian's lap. Dorian petted him with one hand, when he didn't need it for the brushing. To finally be allowed to touch, if only in a platonic manner, felt good.

They arrived in three cars with three agents in each. There were A, B and G; J, N and P; S, Y and Z. C, E, F, H, L, M and O kept fort in Bonn, while the rest provided backup. They had drawn sticks to determine who would get to be in the search teams, with the exception of Z, who still considered himself in charge. "He did sing to me," he had told them. "Whether it was voluntarily or not, he did give me the command."

They drove unchallenged right up to the castle. Oh, they had staked out the place for two full days, but had seen nothing out of the ordinary. They knew all exits. D and K covered the gate to the road, Q and T the kitchen entrance and the rest was spread over the area, just in case. Everyone had reported being in position before the search teams drove the last part of the road. No one had left North Downs since the previous day.

Z pressed the bell. Someone must, surely, have seen them already. The Earl wasn't stupid or careless. There had to be some device for visitor surveillance, at least of the kind that came the regular way. He pressed the bell again. The result sounded like a wind chime, with many very clear, melodic notes.

Finally, the door opened. One of Eroica's men peered out. One of the tall, blond ones, interchangeable in Z's eyes. Oh so very pretty and dressed to the nines despite the early hour. "Good day," he said, looking at them with a question in his vivid, blue eyes. "My name is Rudy. How may I help you?"

Z took a step closer, prepared to catch the door if Rudy tried to slam it in their faces. "We want to see Major von dem Eberbach. Now!"

They would say that, wouldn't they? "We will search the castle ourselves. Let us in."

He pushed forward and Rudy immediately gave way. All nine entered. P and S took up post by the door to keep it secure.

"Because he has gone missing and certain things indicate that the Earl is involved. Take us to the Earl right away."

"Yes, certainly. The Earl has always told us to assist you in any way we can. But I assure you – the Major isn't here."

Another voice broke in. "The Earl has forgotten all about him! It's always about that dog now! And he won't let me sleep at his feet!"

The cute accountant had appeared in a doorway. Z blinked. He liked the small man, not that he would let anyone catch on. "Hello, Mr James. Are you sure that the Major isn't here? Maybe the Earl keeps him hidden somewhere?" If the Earl really had snapped and kidnapped Klaus, anything was possible.

"Of course I'm sure! I handle all the grocery bills, don't I? I would notice if there was someone else eating in the castle. I keep track, you know! It's just that stupid dog. It almost bit me yesterday! And it stole my bone."

They started walking along the corridor, heading at a brisk pace towards the Earl's quarters. Behind him, Z heard G – dressed for the day in his most fetching, summer blue dress - whisper a quiet, "Uh-oh ..."

"You don't think the Earl has him tied up somewhere, starving him to make him more ... pliable, do you?"

"Don't be silly," A reassured the other agent. "The Major would rather starve to death than be ... pliable."

Again, someone knocked on his door; a very firm, decisive knock. A moment later Z and a group of other Alphabets crowded in.

Dorian quickly put down the silver brush and fluffed his hair, hoping that he didn't look too shabby. Then he leaned back and put his right arm possessively around Klaus's shoulders. "Z! A! G! And ... is that you, J? I hardly didn't recognize you without your moustache – and you've lost some weight too, haven't you?"

"Lord Gloria, we are here to search your premises. If you have Major von dem Eberbach in irons somewhere around here, we demand that you hand him over at once."

Dorian's eyes widened. "Iron Klaus? In irons? That would be ... ironic, wouldn't it?"

"Lord Gloria!" Z growled, actually making a rather decent imitation of Klaus's usual annoyance. "This is serious! Is he here?"

Dorian lifted his arm from the dog's shoulder and gave it a quick pat on the behind. Dark brown, almost black eyes glared at him in a way that would probably forever make him feel just a little horny. Then the large animal jumped off the sofa.

"As I told you when you called before, dear Z, I have not seen any raven-haired, drop dead gorgeous German men with eyes like emeralds here since the last time you all visited me. This I am perfectly willing to swear to you. On the bible. On my father's grave. On the Mona Lisa, if you want." And that is one wizard's portrait I want to have a chat with ... "Or maybe on the Crown Jewels? I still want them, you know."

Klaus slowly walked towards the Alphabets. Dorian noted, with some amusement, that Z warily kept the animal in sight. That was, however, the only thing he found amusing in this. His stomach clenched so hard he wanted to cry.

"By all means. No one would be happier than me, if you found him. No, no, dear G – not to worry. He just wants to say hello. He's such an affectionate dog, you see. Why don't you scratch behind his ear. He adores that."

With his heart in his throat he watched the small agent bend down to follow his advice. Please work! Please work! No – please don't! No – do! I ... He couldn't look away as Klaus, after having thrown him one last, baleful look, reached up and rasped his tongue quickly over G's mouth. The transvestite squeaked and jumped back. Dorian stared desperately at the dog, stared at him ... remaining being a dog? Apparently so. He breathed a sigh of relief, even if he wanted to wail in frustration.

However, he hadn't been all that concerned with/hopeful about G. Not really. G was in lust with the Major, of course – and with Dorian too, truth be told. Which showed that G had excellent taste. However, as Bonham had remarked after having given Klaus a quick buzz on the nose, "'T has to be the lovey-dovey kind of love, I wager. Not just the want-ta-get-inter-yer-pants-kinda thing." To find out that Bonham harboured even those kind of feelings for his Major had shaken Dorian, no matter how much he shared the sentiment.

No, what concerned Dorian was the tall, blond man whom his Major now approached, with the intent of giving him as good a kiss as he could manage in his current, canine state. Oh, Z might still be a bit wet behind the ears in some aspect, but Dorian had seen how he looked at Klaus, when Klaus didn't pay attention. He was sure that for Z it was more than just youthful hormones making him ogle a fine piece of arse – which Klaus had, no question about it – or a well-filled joy basket. No, the agent admired Klaus, practically worshipped him, maybe even ... loved him? And Klaus, in turn, did have feelings for the young man. He did love him – perhaps only as a younger brother, but there was love there and Z certainly was no blood-relation. So, with the right motivation surely other kinds of love could also blossom.

Not to mention that Z, in Dorian's eyes, was in certain ways much more suitable to Klaus than himself. On the "right" side of the law, clean-cut, strong, German. Could easily pass for heterosexual – there would be no need for Klaus and Z to hide even a friendship. They could still work together, a pair of warriors like the Spartans of the past ... Quite romantic, really.

Z had not succumbed to trying to scratch the dog. In fact, he held it off at arm's length.

Dorian took a deep breath, prepared to do what was right. He had just gotten to his feet, however, when Z threw the dog back with enough force to make it fall to the floor. It quickly got up again and approached the agent, this time with bared teeth and ears pressed back.

"Major! Get over here! Now!" Dorian ordered quickly, with his heart in his throat. The big dog stared at Z, paying him no attention. Dorian hit his thigh demandingly. "Major! Right now!"

Finally the dog trotted towards him, looking straight at the junior agent the entire way and growling.

"The dog is mad, Lord Gloria," Z said. "You should send it to the vet and have it put down."

Dorian felt annoyed, yet relieved at the reprieve. "Why are you here anyway?" he asked testily. "Why do you think Klaus, I mean Major von dem Eberbach, is here?"

Z nodded towards the dog, who now stood next to Dorian again, watching them all coldly. "A dog just like this one was spotted in the Major's hotel room when he disappeared. We've wasted enough time here. We'll search the castle now."

Dorian made an imperious gesture. "Feel free. You won't find anything. I expect an apology when you come back, Z."

"He threatened to shoot me!" Klaus said as soon as the door had closed. He sounded a little amazed, but not actually angry. Almost ... admiringly?

Not what Dorian wanted to hear. "I thought he was rather over-reacting," he said tartly.

Dorian felt himself softening at this sign of concern. "I just had hoped we would have it over with, that's all. And I do believe I feel just a little bit insulted." He started walking towards the bathroom, to have his morning shower. "Me? Putting you? In irons? Ha!" Just before closing the door behind him, he added, "Iron is so cold and rough. Why would I use iron when gold manacles are far prettier?"

It took the agents five hours to search the castle. At least that was how long it took before Z returned to Dorian's bedchamber, wearing a defeated look. The agents with him looked exhausted. Dorian would have felt sorry for them, if he hadn't felt so sorry for himself and for what must be done.

"Found anything, dear Z?" he asked sweetly, knowing well that there had been nothing for them to find. Even if the man they sought hadn't stayed the entire time at Dorian's side - Where he belongs! - they would have found nothing. If Dorian had truly meant to hide someone in North Downs, there were places no one but he himself could get into – or get out of.

"No, Lord Gloria. I ... apologise for having intruded. And my earlier behaviour."

"Oh, of course I forgive you, you sweet, sweet boy. If—" He said the last word sharply and got to his feet. Klaus, who had lain at his side, went with him. " —you say hello to my dog." He smiled widely, when he really wanted to cry.

Whereupon the Doberman went up to the surprised agents. Or, more to the point, to their temporary leader. Who looked at the animal as if it was going to bite him any second now. "I'm not letting your mad dog anywhere near me!"

"Oh Z ..." Dorian said and reached up to pat the young agent on the cheek. He took another step nearer and then, in one smooth movement, enfolded Z in a firm embrace.

"You invade my home," Dorian purred – playfully, but in fact he felt deadly serious, "looking for my man, thinking that I would have abducted him and abused him. You owe me, sweet Z. You will damned as hell say hello to my dog."

When Z struggled, Dorian held firm. Glancing to the side, he saw the dog stare up at him with something akin to wonder in his dark, soulful eyes. Then it jumped up to lean one large front paw on Z's shoulder and the other on Dorian's, still not breaking eye contact with him. Well? Do it, then! Quick, before they think I'm utterly mad rather than just eccentric! We've spoken about this! Do it!

Yes, they had spoken about the possibility. What Dorian hadn't mentioned to his beloved was the little voice in the back of his head that whispered oh so temptingly, "And if he turns into himself again we'll step back for a while. Klaus is strong and stubborn and faithful. He doesn't see Z as a love object. He'll fight any temptation just as he fought me. And then, one dark night, not too far into the future? A shadow moving in the dark and ... ssssslllllit, no more competition ... " He still hadn't made up his mind and suspected that maybe he might have gone just a little bit mad after all. Who could blame him?

The concept of True Love sang to Dorian's very soul, that it did – but if it wasn't he who was Klaus's true love, why should he pay it any mind? Klaus loved him – had all but said so! – and that was more than enough.

He watched in horrified fascination as the dog – seemingly in slow motion - leaned closer; how the pink tongue darted out and pushed sloppily at Z's rosy lips. For good measure, the snout followed, pressing hard.

Until the dog pulled back, gave both of them a thoroughly betrayed look and dashed off into the room next to Dorian's.

Feeling his insides go numb, Dorian patted Z's shoulder. "That's a good boy," he said absentmindedly. "Always nice to see you. Yes, yes, very nice." He ignored the wide-eyed stares they all gave him and waved them out of the room. The moment the door fell shut, he rushed after the dog.

He found Klaus in the small space between the sofa and the further wall. The dog, curled up tightly, shivered. Dorian went down on all fours and crept under the table to reach him. Gently, in case the dog might bite him, he simply put as much of himself around the animal as he could. "Hush," he soothed. "Hush ..."

"I thought ..." the dog started with a certain roughness to its voice. "I thought ..."

"Well, then it's my fault! It's me! Something's wrong with me! I'm not capable of loving!"

Dorian caressed over the silky smooth pelt and dropped countless kisses on the erect ears. "Nonsense, dear. You love me, don't you?"

"So help me God, I suppose I do ... But apparently not enough. Never enough ... I'm going to become a useless, worthless, untrained dog! You might as well do as he said and have the vet put me down!"

"Never, my love, oh never! Don't say such horrid things! I'll love you forever, Klaus, no matter what!"

With tears in his eyes he kissed the dog's forehead and, with his heart cold and empty, gathered the trembling animal to his chest, hugging it tight. There was nothing else he could do.