The Curse of the Eberbachs

Everything had happened very quickly. James had seen a big Doberman run past him, and the animal had looked very much like the Earl's "Major". Could the dog have run away? Ungrateful beast! Feeding on all the expensive food, and then running away again! James ran up to the main road, only to see a group of people standing around.

"Aw, nonsense, Greg! You heard the man! 'T wasn't rabid at all!" a woman in an apron chimed in.

"They've stunned him with one o' those stunning guns," the fat man interrupted her. "Took him away in a car and left, you just missed them –"

James would have liked to cycle up straight to Thorpesmeade to claim the dog, but had his doubts about being able to handle it on his own. It would be better to inform His Lordship and let him deal with the situation.

He ran back to his bike and pedalled furiously back to the Gloria Estate. A quarter of an hour later, he stumbled into the vast entrance hall.

If he had harboured any doubt that the dog he had seen had actually been the Earl's dog, it was dispersed now. Never before had Dorian reacted that quickly, hearing his accountant's alarmed cries.

He stopped when he saw that the Earl had grabbed James's shoulders, shaking him.

James took a deep breath. Normally he enjoyed being the centre of attention, but now the Earl was digging his strong fingers into his upper arms, and his beautifully manicured fingernails at that, and for once it was not so pleasant being in Lord Gloria's arms ...

"In the village. He ran past me and vanished into a side street. Someone must have alarmed the Animal Shelter. When I went after the dog, people told me that it had already been taken to Thorpesmeade Animal Shelter."

"God have mercy on us! He must really have been very upset. Poor dear, we had a quarrel and he ran away –" The Earl stopped himself, putting a hand over his mouth. James did not believe his ears.

"You had a quarrel? With a Doberman? You say, the dog ran away because you 'quarrelled' with him?" Hands on his hips, James stared up into his employer's face.

He hasn't been the same since that damned dog showed up! And now he has lost it completely ...

He herded Bonham and James into the Morning Room and closed the door. Then he went over to the fireplace and sat down on one of the chairs, motioning his accountant and his second-in-command to follow suit.

"What I have to tell you will sound as if I was joking, or worse, my dears, as if I was one card short of a full deck. I swear to you that neither is the case. What I'm telling you is the truth." Nervously, Dorian fiddled with a strand of his blond curls. "'Major' is the Major."

"Oh no! Just as I thought!" James put a hand over his eyes. "He has lost his mind over that bloody German Tank!"

"I know it sounds crazy. But how would you explain that he talks to me in Major von dem Eberbach's voice, that he behaves like him? This dog is Klaus von dem Eberbach in a Doberman's body! He himself told me so."

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! What will happen now? He has lost his mind! Definitely. Can we cover this up, somehow? I'd hate the thought of putting him into an asylum, apart from the expenses ...

"Alright, Milord. The Doberman is the Major. Of course we will do everything to get him back from the animal shelter. But you must promise me that you never will tell anyone else what you've just told Bonham and me ..."

He looked at the stocky Cockney for support, and found him lounging relaxed in his chair, an amused smile on his lips.

For a moment, James believed that Bonham actually was agreeing with him, not the Earl. But Bonham's next sentence squashed his hopes. The Cockney had lost his mind as well.

"He must be roight. I've heard the Major's voice when His Lordship was alone in a room with th' dog. And why would he order Nescafé for 'Major'? – No, Jamesie. I believe 'is Lordship. Uncle NATO must have pissed off the wrong guy."

"Who turned him into a dog? Simsalabim, just like that? Have you all gone mad? Come on, this isn't funny!" James began to pout.

"I don't know the exact spell to turn a 'uman into a dog, but a fully trained wizard might know it."

"A wizard?!" James snapped. "What are we talking about now? Merlin? Or wait, what's the other guy's name – Gandalf? A fairy tale?"

"Gandalf, no. Merlin, yes. I'm from a family of wizards. Remember that I told you, Jamesie, I was thrown out of school? That was a school for witches and wizards."

"Not me, M'lord. Me magical powers aren't much to shout about. But I know someone who might be able to 'elp."

"Rest assured, James, it did not come easy to me. When I first heard the dog speak with the Major's voice, I thought someone was playing a stupid trick. Bonham's theory, that the Major is under a magical spell which has turned him into a dog, though, is the first thing I hear which makes sense to me in this connection."

James shrugged. Very well, If the Earl had decided to go barmy, and Bonham, the most sane and reasonable person he knew, supported him in this nonsense, what could he, James, do?

"It's as good an explanation as any. Now, first we have to get him out of the shelter," he said, eyeing Bonham as if the Cockney had turned into a ferocious animal, ready to pounce on him.

"Right," the Earl said. "I should do that. But maybe," he added thoughtfully, "I should let him fry for a while, just as a little punishment for running away and frightening me? Ah well, let's see how he behaves ..."

"Most probably they'll fine you for letting the – Major stray around without a muzzle and a leash," James remarked darkly.

"Be it as it may," Dorian said. "Call the boys back, Bonham. I'll be off to Thorpesmeade Animal Shelter. And not a word to anyone about who the dog really is! – Jamesie?" The Earl's beautiful eyes were uncommonly serious.

"As if anyone would believe that stupid yarn anyway!" James muttered. I don't know what to think anymore. The Major changed into a dog, Bonham is a wizard, although one they've thrown out of school ... oh, fine. If they say so ... Well, if the Earl wants me to attack windmills next, I'll be his Sancho Pansa alright ...