Zeta Set by Anne-Li
Author's disclaimer and notes: I don't own them, I just dream of doing so. Feedback is better than Very Berry. Corrections to my language or any other type of comments are welcome. Ask if you want me to archive it anywhere. You may link to this story if you want or to my main page. 1.586 words. Written in April 2011.
This is not part of the original five set of the challenge, but I liked doing the sets, so I asked my good beta, Heather Sparrows, to make another set for me.
One or two might at some point become stories, should I feel like it. But should anyone feel inspired to write anything based on any of these, feel invited!
Warning: You'll find a little bit of everything and while the majority is Klaus/Dorian, there are some other pairings sprinkled in. At least one crossovers.
To Heather Sparrows
Betaed by Heather Sparrows and Kadorienne! Lots of love to you!
1. Humour - Shooting contests were just about the most boring events that Dorian ever attended - but Klaus was infallibly horny afterwards, so Dorian always humoured him.
2. Evil - Klaus tolerated the Rogues' Gallery well enough - but there was something about Dorian coming home with horse hair on his trousers after an ELE* meeting that seriously rubbed him the wrong way.
*=the Evil League of Evil
3. Thirst - Dorian's thirst for beauty would occasionally overshadow his hunger for love - but while water can keep a man alive for days without food, in the end he will still die of starvation.
4. Master - Dorian had thought it a bit too easy to get Klaus to agree to a game of Master And Servant - but he grudgingly did the laundry in hope that there might be sex at the end of the day anyway.
5. Proof - In the ultimate proof of love, James loaned Klaus his lucky coin before sending him off on his mission.
6. Elaborate - "Nothing elaborate!" had been Klaus's only demand regarding their wedding ceremony - perhaps he should have specified that the same went for all the surrounding activities as well.
7. Animal - "He's an animal in bed!" Dorian would complain with an artful pout - but he fooled no one into feeling the least bit sorry for him.
8. Anorexic - Anorexic behaviour from some of his men had led Dorian to make it a policy to claim "I don't fancy thin men" - and this had proven remarkably effective.
9. Keepsake - Normally Dorian would steal a little keepsake from each of his conquests - with Klaus he decided to just keep the man himself.
10. Heart - Klaus's heart was guarded with mine fields, a moat, fences, patrol dogs, bazookas and a Magnum - once you got inside, there was no chance in Hell of getting out again.
11. Barbaric - Klaus snorted at barbaric British customs - though he was rather fond of the Shag The Conquering Hero Stupid one.
12. Actor - Actors applying for roles in "Iron Klaus - The Movie" soon realised that the "Casting Couch" situation was a bit different from regular movies - it required team work, for one, and there seemed to be an unusual number of giggling female directors.
13. Progress - "Herr Gloria - we realise that NATO asked you for a progress report, but 'Held Klaus's hand today while he was unconscious' wasn't exactly what we had in mind."
14. Result - While Dorian saw little point in military training per se, he couldn't help but approve of the end result - once he got his lover in the right mindset Klaus obeyed orders very, very well ...
15. Help - "Shouldn't we help the major?" the new Agent L asked when Eroica chased their superior through the hotel lobby, but the more experienced alphabets just laughed at him.
16. Nightmare - What a nightmare!" Bonham gasped as he woke up shivering, covered in cold sweat and with his heart racing: "The Earl getting married - to a woman!"
17. Autumn - Autumn was James's favourite season, when even the trees wore gold.
18. Revise - After having known Dorian for five years, Klaus had revised his opinion on practically everything he had once assumed about the man - except for the gay thing and that he was still convinced that Dorian was utterly color blind.
19. Rainbow - Considering the matter logically it wasn't all that strange when James dug up gold at the end of the rainbow - after all, he had dug at thousands of rainbows before and sooner or later he had to find something.
20. Sedate - Klaus was shocked at how sedate Dorian's outfit for the day was - until he saw it from behind.
21. Brown - "Major von dem Eberbach, I just called to inform you that last night I successfully used a small brush made from the hair of a brown boar to masturbate."
22. Legendary - Agent A was legendary among the Alphabet - not only had he survived the major's supervision the longest - he was also the one who won the The Major Getting Shagged By Earl Gloria office betting pool.
23. Flower - Klaus wasn't really a flowers kind of guy, but Dorian rather thought that the Eroica roses suddenly growing under Klaus's bedroom window were a rather positive sign.
24. Forest - Klaus had refused to believe that their latest meeting had been purely coincidental, which Dorian could understand, given that the meeting had taken place in a remote, uncharted area of the Amazon rain forest, several days' walks from civilisation and that neither of them had a logical reason for being there, but the kicker was - it really had been coincidental.
25. Camping - "When I agreed to go camping with you, Klaus, I didn't mean a week-long survival boot camp!"
26. Sea - Klaus had been completely at sea about why Dorian's interest in him had suddenly waned, until a kind soul left a brochure regarding the Hanky Code on his desk and he promptly threw away his latest birthday present from Aunt Gabi.
27. Sand - When James's presence finally became too difficult to ignore, Dorian offered the man a tenner to count all the grains in a bucket of sand - that always gave him a couple of hours of peace.
28. Bicycle - Klaus didn't overly mind Queen's Bicycle-song, but Dorian's suggestive hip movements and rather obvious double entendres had him blushing.
29. Fog - When he was pinched Klaus thought he knew for sure who the culprit was, but as the heavy fog slowly lifted it revealed a surprising number of possible suspects.
30. Shower - Exhausted to the point of collapse, it wasn't until the shower water hit him that Klaus remembered that he had forgotten to check the bathroom for spy cams.
31. Bath - Dorian preferred hour long, lazy, luxurious baths – but not just before sex, as he sometimes got a little "too relaxed" from them …
32. Sleep - Klaus was a light sleeper and that was why he held Dorian firmly during the nights so that the other's tossing wouldn't keep him awake – he most certainly wasn't a snuggler!
33. Slim - Herr Hinkel judged Earl Gloria's chances of seducing his young master as somewhere between slim and none – so he called England to make a few suggestions.
34. Awful - "But Milord," said Bonham, puzzled by the request,"you think Nescafe tastes awful: why would you want us to buy stock in the company?"
35. Nasty - Klaus spoke English fluently, but not perfectly – and it took Dorian a good while to realise that Klaus mixed up Nasty with Naughty and then he had to rethink quite a lot of Klaus's statements.
36. Enjoy - "Of course I want you to enjoy it too, darling, but if you really can't, how about lying back, closing your eyes and thinking about NATO?"
37. Ride - Klaus wasn't sure what Dorian meant by "topping from the bottom" – if he rode Dorian then he wasn't on the bottom, was he?
38. Dig - "No, it isn't at all cruel to get James to dig up the garden by telling him I hid coins in there, Milord; I let him keep the coins, don't I?"
39. Harvest - His North Downs estate didn't grow alfalfa, but come harvest season Dorian brought some in special for a bit of fun in the hay.
40. Plant - "Well, yes, Milord, this Plant fellow does seem to have stolen some of your style, but don't worry, you're much prettier than he!"
41. Delicious - "Delicious!" was Dorian's final verdict, but Klaus was blushing too hard to comment.
42. Healthy - "It can't be healthy to have sex this often," Klaus grumbled and spread his legs wider, to which Dorian shrugged and replied: "Well, you always did use to call me sick."
43. Filthy - Klaus was filthy, there was no other word for it, half covered in blood, mud and things best not considered, but he was still the most gorgeous thing Dorian had ever seen – because he was alive!
44. Glorious - "No, I'll gasp and ask you to fuck me harder and faster, that's fine, but I categorically refuse to shout 'Glorious! Glorious! Glorious!', you sick pervert."
45. Slow - On the whole, Klaus preferred long, slow fucks, but all investigations has to be thorough, so sometimes he would ask Dorian to fuck him hard and fast, just to make sure.
46. Amazing - Amazingly enough, and against all predictions, they then proceeded to live happily ever after.
47. Rare - To Dorian the sight of Klaus's rare, open, genuine smile was almost a religious experience.
48. Powerful - "Yes, my fellow minion, the reason that our Superior, all-Powerful Overlord decided to turn from a life of crime to a life of conquering and usurping was for the simple reason that our beloved Emperor Consort, Klaus the Firm, proved immensely attracted to power."
49. Horror - To James's utter horror - and, to a slightly smaller degree, Klaus's as well - Dorian opted for a very luxurious and very, very, very expensive wedding ceremony, not to mention the no expenses-spared-honeymoon.
50. Frame - "I was framed!" Dorian shouted as they led him away and Klaus, who knew without a doubt that Dorian would never disown one of his heists, immediately opened a counter-investigation.
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